A New Day

ToTaL BlOg FaIlUrE

2011-05-29T21:11:00.000-07:00

I have really missed blogging!
I have no clue why I just randomly stopped! I guess I got to busy, or I felt like I couldn't really share things on here as in with pictures but realized today how much I truly MISS it!
I still read blogs of course but just have failed to well jump back in!
Oh well i guess I shouldn't feel like it has to be this way or that, it's my blog I should just blog about whatever :)

So here this will be my jump back in

Today I said out loud- I don't even know our neighbors, - I mean sure I wave hi but not much more than that, I don't really like that. I grew up in a neighborhood where everyone knew everyone. You could really go ask someone for eggs or sugar or flour, and I spent my summer nights as a kid safe playing and cutting through neighbors backyard to run home safe and happy.

I live alot closer in proximity to the people who I call neighbors now, with houses alot closer together in CA. Yet what is it here that makes people more distant, or is it just for safety and security?
I feel torn in this. I want to go out of my way to show Christ's love, and to be different even if it's just a smile or to lend a helping hand, yet I also want to be safe. This week we had some pretty odd things going on here in our neighborhood. Just turn on the news... and it makes you wonder who are your neighbors.., yet on the flip side oddly it makes me sad that I feel such a distance to people I live so close to.
Maybe life won't go back to being so simple ever but It just has me thinking :)

2009-02-18T20:15:00.001-08:00

blog blog blog.. Oh how i do love thee ... really i do! I just have issues with the fact that i feel like alot of what i think or what i want to blog i shouldn't make for everyone to read or rather i wish i could post pics of just everyday stuff and oh i dunno i go back and forth like the 2 people that read this then would have to log in if i made this private but then i could post all the pics i wanted etc.. la la what do my 2 readers think? *cough*

Moments.. words, thoughts i can blog...

"miss Jodi let's spell some words.. and you can help me, you know put the letters together to make a word.." That is what a word is right?"
"yes that sure is.. what would you like to spell?"
"OH OH - I know we should spell something with the letter O since it's our letter this week...
I know I know.. I know a word... it's DOG!!! *woof wooof wooooof* and i can spell that with the O for you! It's G-O-D!!! G-O-D!! *woof* "
"umm well that's not quite it.. but it's really close.. but that is GOD.. think about what sound does DOG start with?"
"yeah I known it's G-O-D-- DOG DOG DOG!!"
wow...

sunday

2009-02-08T10:39:00.000-08:00

must clean, must blog, must find lost package, must humm
oh yeah heyy :)

so who wants to come help me clean?! oh my so does anyone else ever um have a bad habit of holding on to clothes that they probably won't wear like say from a few years ago but ya know that you liked then and oh you might want it this coming spring cause gee well ya never know.......... umm yeah why do i do that ALL the time!? it's not like i have the room for it?
My OCD-ness is buggin me big time right now ugh so sometimes um i'd just rather do nothing at all and sit here and blog instead great... so productive...

but part of it is i know i need reallllyy need to clean and get ready to move so that it's so overwhelming when i do move to a different condo/apartment-whatever- that's something big if you could/can be praying God just directs all of that please. that would be a huge answer to prayer. I hate change and transition but I know God has it all under control.

Yuck this is a boring and wieird blog.. oh well
I"m getting over the flu-- fun times.... i hate how the flu always or well maybe this doesn't happen to anyone else but does it ever make you not want to eat certain or drink things that you had like right before you got sick because you think or associate it somehow i guess with um getting sick? or i dunno? like ever since i was really little i can't drink red hawaiian punch.
okay like anyone wants to know all of this randomness.
i'll go clean more now.. maybe... we'll see.......... humm

miss you alllll
joyce and jennnnyy heyy --i still check your blog lots and miss you blogging :) i know i'm a fine one to talk but for real i love when you blog! and Kim of course it goes without saying :D i miss you and love your pics and when you blog-it makes my day!
love you guys-your the best

i never blog

2009-01-18T11:45:00.000-08:00

i think of about a zillion things honestly okay not a zillion but a few things each day that i could/ wish that i had should of blogged and then never do...

so this is my blog so i guess i don't need to worry about playing catch up or feeling bad that i just pretty much let it go. I really have no excuses. I wish i could blog post more of my daily life with the sweet kids at school but as i can not do that and post pics etc. ..
But i can and will leave you with some of the amazing things they teach me.. their lil minds amaze me...truly..

a few random moments

talking about King Herod... how much evil he had in his heart.. one of them said.. "you know his heart must be so so tiny small like this ... motions for a very tiny tiny heart... you know we really should pray for him to get a bigger heart.. for God to fill it up with Love...."
They totally got it.. and how we don't want our own hearts to be filled with evil but rather with Gods love so that we ourselves don't let evil fill us...

"don't tell , don't tell" *looks up and around* "aww man too late she's right there" 'shoot" i didn't want her to know that i almost thought i was gonna have to get in trouble for that one whew.. "i said she's right there look behind you"

Making fresh squeezed lemonade.. and squeezing the lemons to get the juice out.. as the juice is squirting everywhere and making a bit of a mess.. "wow this is the most amazing process ever... that's so cool that God would make lemons just for us to do this to..." lol
you should have seen the look on their faces testing it before we added the sugar wheww priceless that was for sure! and yes i did warn them and YES i did test it myself too! it was Tart for sure!

"whatever your doing..."

2008-10-18T18:05:00.000-07:00

this song has been on my mind and my heart ... its so true

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

(Chorus)Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't seebut I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow
Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...To...
(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many yearsTime to release all my held back tears
Whatever You're doing inside of meIt feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This *is* something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly
It's time to face upClean this old houseTime *to* breathe in and let everything out

thinking..

2008-10-16T12:04:00.001-07:00

death and dying= jodi realizes she doesn't know how to deal with it... seriously running is my mode of operation or trying to somehow not let it touch my heart, be strong.. and not let the reality sit with me too long... literally when i was in high school i just ran out the door and RAN when i heard about my grandma who my dad had just talked to..
i've lost a grandpa at age 12, my grandma when i was a senior in high school, and my other grandpa just a few years ago.. and others that i loved but it's like i just really don't know how to cope with it...
So now as i see this family that i love facing death i one more time think Jesus let me not run, let my heart not be built up with a wall but instead LIVE life in the moment and savoir the time..

I miss my grandpa so much.. so much sometimes that i have dreams and think i can just go back to his house and see him... and yet i'm filled with thanks for all that he did to show me how to live life and love Jesus, and never lose the joy of living even when life gets tough...
so why do i feel stuck at the moment.... i just do... and I don't know why.

it's not like i'm dying, yet i feel so confused, and not sure what where life is going, and what Jesus wants of and for me, and how to just do daily life, and not get stuck by little things like being sick or i dunno Oh Jesus I don't want to miss the big picture... i don't want to be so small minded...
Help me God to be yours..... and live that way...

oh finally

2008-10-16T11:47:00.000-07:00

wow finally i figured out how to change this ugly blog. ugh hope none of you were checking it seeing that lovely green and orange combo i had going on whew that was hurtin my eyes and um sure making me NOT want to blog. isn't that sad... well i wanted to blog but hated the look of my blog so i faithfully check everyone elses that i love to read and see updated and leave my own to umm grow in it's uglyness? suree..

okay well there's been much to think/blog about and yet it seems at those times is when i go silent the most... makes perfect sense..

so neways on to much more important matters...

can you please pray for a very good friend of mine and her family... i think i will just put a little snippet of an update in here b/c i know you all will pray. my heart is heavy/sad for them and wanting to help and do anything i can..yet feeling kind of helpless... they have truly been my family out here in CA and are such amazing people who love Jesus..

"Mom went yesterday to have more fluid drained from her abdomen - not as much as last time but it should help her discomfort for a bit. The DR. who did the procedure has been a big help to mom and seemed a bit concerned that the Oncologist is not doing more for Mom. That confirmed for Christina and I that it was okay to get a second opinion.

Christina will be talking with City of Hope today - We both know that its not so much for a "cure" but we just feel mom deserves to be taken care of better then what the current Dr. is doing. Pray for Christina's wisdom to know how far to pursue this. Also that we would be able to set up in home care or at least have people stop by and check on Mom while Christina is gone. It is coming up to a very busy time of year for Christina and I know that weighs on her a lot. One thing I am not seeing - I am not seeing Mom's church family step up to help with some of the visiting. Pray for pletharu of people :)

Also - if you would pray for Christina's peace of mind. She has some of Mom's friends telling her that asking for a second opinion is a "foolish" thing to do. They have told Christina that she is not being fair to Mom by not just calling hospice. IT has been very upsetting for Christina and makes her feel she is not doing a good job. Pray that God would just put His hedge around Christina and only allow her to hear His voice.

Christina and I have discussed the Hospice idea quite a bit - and although I am in favor of doing that Mom is not ready for that yet & Christina has reservations about it. Anyway - just a short update - Christina is feeling very weighed down and discouraged by these "ladies" who have known christina since she was very young - they should know that Christina is only doing what she feels is best for Mom. And that Mom is willing to do the second opinion. Christina wouldn't have pursued it without Mom's permision.

Anway - thanks again to all of you - your prayers and support are so evident. God's richest blessings on all of you

In Him

Sheri

today is for sure monday

2008-09-15T16:39:00.000-07:00

it was one of those days where all day long little things for sure kept telling me yes today is for sure monday....

most heavy on my heart is the stories of all these people/familes whos lives will never be the same because of the train wreck on friday... i just can't stop thinking about it.
coutine to please pray for these people.. that God will be near
i keep hearing stories and my heart just hurts
everything seems so small in comparison to it... so trival... one moment your life is normal and the next second changed forever... such a reminder to me..... i wonder of what they felt, thought and if they were fearful etc or had time to panic...

i feel annoyed or irritated almost too and i don't know why today
random things...

everything seemed to take more effort and energy today and i feel drained

my watch broke before the day had gotten started

oh nevermind none of this random stuff even seems to matter much right now so petty i dunno why i even sat down to write this post other than that writing about it somehow sometimes helps to get it off my heart. its so hard to wrap my mind around... and makes 9-11 seem like .. so HUGE i can't believe we lost so many on that day....

Oh Jesus come and be real and near to those who are feeling so lost right now

train wreck... sadness

2008-09-14T16:53:00.000-07:00

http://www.ktla.com/pages/content_landing_page/?Report--Metrolink-Dispatcher-Tried-to-Wa=1&blockID=56225&feedID=1198

i can't even tell you how much this all has been on my heart/mind

so sad... and right here... they keep saying LA but it's really close to where i live.. this train comes through here.. *sigh* wow today as i read the paper and thought of all the lives this forever changed... and i sat there thinknig while my day is giong by who and how much this is effecting so many others all the more... if it's on my heart well there's must just feel so overwhelmed... i can't get the news footage of it all out of my mind as it was just happening on friday and they were pulling bodies out and just the chaois and i sat there praying and thinking God i know you are in this but oh please just be real and near to these people, their familes, and friends...

I took a picture of that train i can't remember if i posted it on here or if it was only on facebook...but when i was at the fair...(it's the top 2 pictures i can't get them to move down here for some reason...)

i don't even really know what to say or what to think of it all.. so if this makes no sense well thats fine i just needed to vent i guess....

and i was bummed yesterday that OSU lost to USC but i kept thinking how small of a thing that seemed to even be in comparison to all that's going on with this and the Hurricane others are facing etc...

love you all be safe

whisking away... or um something

2008-07-30T17:18:00.001-07:00

today i made cornbread and a um jodi makes it up casserole... it smells really good so um well see how it tastes :) I took a pic of the bread b/c it's buckeye corn bread and of course buckeyes=ohio go bucks :)

not much to blog about i guess.. i'm putting off i REALLY need to organize my pics and um take off the ones on my camera but i keep putting it off... why ? i don't know! but i can't post some of my pics that i want to on here now since my blog is public :P i don't like that part of it .. oh well

i misss jenny and laura blogging :) hint hint ;)
really been thinking of ya all hope everyone's end of the summer is going good!

the fair starts here um tomrorow i think :) i never use to like it in ohio but i love it here :) it's alot different or well to me it is anyways! the fairgrounds are right on the ocean :) so maybe it's that aspect that makes it more magical to me or something? i dunno :)
okay i'm off :) love ya guys

mmm coffee sounds good right now they are talking about starbucks that are closing on the news.. oh and now the fair :) it started today :oops

shakey ground...

2008-07-29T13:47:00.000-07:00

WOW what um well odd morning it's been. It's crazy I really don't think i will EVER get use to
living in a place where there are Earthquakes....
11:40am
In the kitchen... heating up some food ... starts to feel dizzy...
(lol oh no i wasn't dizzy...) the ground was just shaking...windchimes were so loud outside I.. thought they were gonna fall off.. only there was no wind..
the lamp was swaying... a picture fell off the wall... and um it sounded like a great big truck outside or something.... and the houes shook.....

what did i do.. i umm i just stayed right where i was thinking EARTHQUAKE yikes what do i do!? or well more where do i stand? .. it was probably what maybe like a minute at the most... and then the rolling feeling starts.. it feels like you are um on a boat or something yet less umm assuring...

and no phone service for me so yeah just so eveyone knows
i'm fine :) just a lil shaken :) no pun intended either it is seriously such a weird feeling..
i don't know if i would rather have a tornado or an earthquake what about you!?
... tornadoes at least i grew up with.. here that's how they are with earthquakes i guess maybe? i dunno i don't think you ever get use to either. i just need to be a little more um knowleable or more prepared... i don't really know what you need to have/do etc like i did with tornadoes and going to the basement having some water, and food etc

Thank you Jesus that you are truly the only one who is in control... even as the earth shakes and ground trembles... you are over it all.. Thank you for the reminders that we are not in control.. help me to remember this in big and small things... Ruler of both land and sea.. Thank you for your care and concern over our lives...

http://ktla.trb.com/news/ktla-quake-story,0,6115286.story

oh the joy

2008-07-10T23:15:00.000-07:00

the joy of kids!
i was given the go ahead that i can volunteer by my dr this week and so today i spent the morning at the school and oh it made me so happy :) i have missed the kids so so much... it just fills my heart with JOY and happiness to see them and makes me longgg all the more to be back to my job as normal!

so much i could say so much i am thankful for, so much my heart is fighting for and so much that God has shown me in and through this all.
Thank you Jesus for being over it all... everything... and being my all in all.

Tomorrow i'm going back :) must get to bed
love you all

Calgon take me away....

2008-07-07T12:39:00.001-07:00

*calls for calgon to rescume KIM and then wonders who calgon was anways so i had to google it...
http://www.takemeaway.com/ now that looks inviting..
But

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calgon that actually explains... so umm i guess i thought Calgon was a person all this time.. like he would sweep in like a knight in um shiny armor on a white horse and rescue... okay yeahh yeahh so i guess i'm not callin calgon to take me away.. or Kim or anyone for that matter

So on 2nd thought i'll just come rescue you Kim cause that would make me wayy happier anyways! here we come coffeebean! :D

happy 4th of july a bit late

2008-07-06T11:22:00.000-07:00

Well then lets see i really feel like i don't have much to blog about so hence why i haven't...

here's my highly exciting day so far...

wake up early can't go back to sleep

clean the bathroom *wow now isn't that what you all wanted to read about?... i won't go into it all i promise okay so yep wow see how exciting the day has been thus far?

*yawn* i washed my hair with this new shampoo today it's um vanilla jasmine from bath and body works and it smells really good. i had never heard or seen it before... then i look on the bottle and it says volumizing.. um yep definately something i don't need with my curly hair today.

this is all so random. Its a beautiful day outside i think I might have to go get coffee after church or something.

maybe i should take some pictures i keep forgetting my camera. these random pics match my random post i guess

my heart is full of thoughts but nothing is clicking for me to write about so maybe i'll just end this!

its all in the last name...

2008-06-26T15:29:00.000-07:00

so maybe hugh hefner has been in the news alot lately or something... it's funny b/c i haven't gotten this in a long time... but this past week i've had 2 um randomly odd conversations regarding my last name....
yesterday....

i'm at the self check out and the lady that works at the grocery store is checking my id...

her:"oh..hefner huh.."?
me- "um yeah.."
her: "oh i bet you get that alot..."
me- "um get what alot... ?
her: "oh well hefner and all..
me- no i'm not related to hugh..if that's what you mean
her: "aww well that's too bad for you.. that would sure be nice huh to be one of Hefner's girls...I would want to be, and i bet you wouldn't be here shopping if you were someone would be doing it for you.. ... yeah that would be real nice huh?"
me: "um well i never have thought of it like that before...
her" oh well i wouldn't be here working and doing this if i had money like that in my family... too bad.."
her "well you still have time maybe you will still get lucky....."

me-walks away scratching my head.....

one little heartbeat at a time...

2008-06-18T17:12:00.000-07:00

There are few times that I really feel angry inside... but that is easily stirred up with anything that concerns kids i guess (as i've realized these last few days). My heart and passion and just so much of why i love what i do is because of kids, who they are, their innocence, their joy, passion, and living in and for the moment.. and just i plain love em..

I have been thinking about this all for the past few days and feeling my heart get stirred up and so many thoughts entering into my mind as i replay this all and think on it.....

drop into this conversation for a few minutes with me and give me your thoughts... seriously i really want to know what others think and maybe i'm just going crazy...

scene... um a local bathroom in a store *yes i know that sounds odd*

Act one...

In walks a mother and her daughter who looks to be about 5-6

and i hear
" no , no that is not what i told you to do"- as she's holding her daughters hand kind of pulling her by the arm
Little girl -"but mom all the other kids were having ice cream and her mom said it was okay. it was a party and that it would be alright for me to...."
The mom goes on to basically um reprimaind her child for having ice cream at her best friends birthday party... telling her there are no just this one time, or that a party is a reason for her to have it..
at this point i'm kind of like wow,just kind of shocked...

she goes to to tell her that she will never be skinny and pretty if she keeps this up....
that ice cream is bad and doesn't she want to look pretty in her clothes? well they aren't gonna fit her if she keeps this up..... and if she really wants this than she can't be like all the other lil girls having ice cream who's moms don't care enough to tell them it's bad for them.....

*breath*
i felt like i walked into this lady's home or something, and felt as if i was in the way of her slamming her child... and i stood there like oh man this is so so sad...
this little girl was beautifuly seriously and yet her little sad face is etched in my mind as she was looking down at the ground....

Then the mom is looking at me looking at them in the mirror as i'm washing my hands... and i just was so upset inside and thought you know normally what i would do is um act like i didn't hear anything and get out of there maybe? but like i felt so convicted and so i dunno like pressed to just say something so i looked at the little girl looking at me now and said "hey i really like that dress you have on" and she looked up at me and said "really?" and i just kind of smiled and said yeah you look really pretty and she smiled really big and said thanks.. and the mom just glared at me pretty much... and went on her way yankin her daughter along and telling her daughter this and that....

Maybe it's just the combination of alot of things in the last few weeks for me... seeing kids who want and crave their parents love and attention so much... or hearing this mom totally putting down her child in a bathroom ... a zillion thoughts go through my mind.. don't you know how much you are hurting your child... can't you see in her eyes how much she wants to do what you want... to be the best for you... don't you see how much damage you are doing?? so beyond the surface so beyond what she looks like but right to the core of her heart and who she is, who she will grow up to be and how she is going to feel about herself.....

ahhhhh like i just felt so angry and still do thinking on this all , i wish i could have done something more, i wished i could have said you know what your daughter is beautiful just the way she is... she has her whole life to worry about being fat and whether she can eat ice cream.. yet now she's feeling guilty for having fun at a party.... and ughh i dunno... but all the things she was saying i was thinking if you do this in public what do you do or say to her at home... just all this weird stuff goes through my mind i guess i dunno.

so would anyone else think this was weird or is it just me and my emotions of the last week and etc?

I can't explain it... how much i see at work everday the effects of kids who know they are loved and whos parents make time for them even if it's just a little each day to spend with them and... what a diffrence it makes in how they feel about themselves already even at such a young age and the way they see life and relate to their lil friends....what they are mimicing and just yeah i dunno guys this is pressed on me so heavily....

Flip to a totally different scenerio
It's ironic or not more just God then the total opposite side of this... the very patient loving mom i heard in a friend this week....

i was calling someone this week when their little child answered the phone... first without saying anything and i heard things going on in the background so i knew it had gotten picked up and i heard a lil whispered "hello" so the phone was left off the hook without the parent even knowing it... and as i sat there after i heard this lil voice ... and i basically um easedropped into their day.... I would expect nothing less than this from this person... she's one of the best moms i know in the world... but who she is and was with someone watching or listening is totally the same as who she is to her sweet lil one , loving patient and kind, when someone is listening and she has no idea....

I thought of this conversation from earlier in the week at the store... and sat thinking and listening to the patient and kind and sweet loving and encouraging words of this mom ... and obviously what a huge difference, but it just made me get tears in my eyes as i thought, at the end of the day nothng else really matters when you have loved your child well and they know it....
of course there will be hard times and times of correction etc but it without a doubt i know would never change this mom's love for her child.. just like God's love for us doesn't change....

it made me think of this song and i'll end this.. but really let me know what you think about this all if you have a minute i'd love to hear your thoughts! jenny , kim and laura,- you all are wonderful moms!!

"You're up all night with a screaming baby
You run all day at the speed of life
And every day you feel a little bit less
Like the beautiful woman you are
So you fall into bed when you run out of hours
And you wonder if anything worth doing got done
Oh, maybe you just don't know
Or maybe you've forgotten

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

With every "I know you can do it"
Every tear that you kiss away
So many little things that seem to go unnoticed
They're just like the drops of rain over time
They become a river

And you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the worldOne little heartbeat at a time

You're beautiful
You're beautiful
How you're changing the world
You're changing the world
You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tellHow you, you are changing the world
Oh, I believe that youYou are changing the world
One little heartbeatAt a time
And you're changing the world"

i'd like some tomatoes with my salsa

2008-06-17T15:39:00.000-07:00

a weird conversation

i keep laughing thinking about this well sort of...

last week i had been busily working at school for like 4 hours taking my room down for the summer and sheri was with me helping me do it all and we were both really tired.

we decided to call in and pick up our fave mexican food on our way home since it was getting late and were HUNGRY ! good plan....

so we do that and go in to get it and i pay and sheri goes over to get salsa from the fresh salsa bar- hands down one of the best parts... and it's umm empty.. and so she asks about it and they were like oh yeah we're out of tomatoes today kinda like no biggie um at all....

... a girl working sees that sheri has a purple sharpie clipped on her shirt that she had been using from my classroom and the girl lights up and wants to know if she can borrow it... to um make a sign... for the salsa bar

she's so excited about the sharpie.. and i'm like um so are there no tomatoes on the food either.. or in my salad or um... yeah couldn't they have told us when we ordered... the girl was so excited about the purple sharpie...

*this was like the day of the tomoato thing making the news with the whole outbreak.. and so she's like kind of a um off handed remark like oh well i guess there was some sort of recall or something today did you hear about it? like maybe that's why they don't have any salsa or tomoatoes... a minute later... a guy walks by me.... and says

"When is our shipment coming in?" and i'm thinking huh.. i'm just bummed that my food is gonna be well not what i was so hungry for...

and he says yeah the shipment of tomatoes.... okay thank you very much! i don't think it even had anything to do with that but who knows.... just um weird glad someone can get so happy about a sharpie! now i'll take some pico de gallo please and that does take tomatoes :)

not so sure about this... i forgot how curly and um unruly my hair can be!

2008-06-17T10:42:00.000-07:00

making up for um lost blogging time

2008-06-16T17:47:00.001-07:00

http://www.wtol.com/global/video/flash/popupplayer.asp?ClipID1=2505049&h1=News%2011%20Special%20Report%3A%20A%20Plane%20Crash%20on%20Lake%20Erie&vt1=v&at1=News&d1=428200&LaunchPageAdTag=News&activePane=info&rnd=68923263

this happened i think about just a year ago to a family that lives in lima where i grew up.. it's a pretty amazing story just thought i'd share the link

oh and chop chop...

2008-06-16T11:12:00.001-07:00

i told her just to do whatever to my hair just to trim it up and thin it out, but that she could take it to whatever length she thought was good...

i kinda am havin to get use to it it's like i have um half the head of hair i did but it feels good :) especially for the summer... BUT i wanted it cut b/c i thought it would take less time to do/dry/straighten... only yesterday it was MORE curly and took more time to straighten before church.. i was like um this kinda back fired..

so is it really true that when your hair is longer andthicker it weighs down the curl more and makes it um easier to straighten? jenny? help?! :) i never really um believed this but maybe it's true...

i will have to post a curly pic sometime it feels so short curly...

all this to say she chopped off over 3 inches and i looked down to lots of my hair layin on the floor :)

don't you all love reading my umm totally unpuncuated and no capitalization on my sentences.. very proper english and grammer over here on this blog i tell youu wow! oh and my greattt spelling :)

love ya all

watching ps i love you... did anyone see it?

2008-06-16T10:57:00.000-07:00

drinkng coffee and sitting here thinking of all the things i should be doing right now...
there's this list that awaits me things that are actually needin to be done but am i doing them ...no... oh well they can wait , i always do this though lately it seems and make these grand plans and then can't get them done in or during the day... maybe i just am lacking in enough energy or hum i dunno

my sleep pattern has totally changed lately it's weird. i think it's made me feel hum off i can't decide why , or if it's just been the school year ending and everything i've been thinking/feeling with that.

yesterday i woke up at like 6am and did a bunch of stuff before church... so then i was sitting in church and got this massive migraine... it was great... so i try to um pick up my purse/bag and dig around umm quietly looking for my medicine... - (have you ever noticed how stinkng loud everything in your purse can sound? like it's a noise maker or something... swweet)
but nopee don't have any.... so i think we'll i can just wait till the end of the sermon and then slip out...oh but then after the sermon he says now no one leave and miss this... okay guess not....

*yawn* sorry this is scattered
saturday went to walmart.. okay so um help me here... i keep telling my roomates here how GREAT walmart can be..... only seriously everytime we GO they are totally in disarray or being remodeled... i'm not kidding you this has happened 4 times to me in the last few years... our walmart that is near here, well like a city away is umm not nice but i couldn't figure out why everyone disliked it so much well i went once and that was enough... haven't been back in um 4 years...
so yeah we went to this one that's like 30 minutes away and it's alot nicer but i'm not kidding you the whole store is umm well everywhere.... toys here, food there, and racks in the middle of the rows and um just wow yeah where's the toothpaste... oh here... and OVER HERE.... maybe with the plants who knows?! and oh well i'm sure it will be greattt once it's all done i just laugh b/c this is seriously the 4th time it's happened. and at different locations... and over the course of few years but still... and that's my walmart story and i guess why i only go to walmart about oh once every few years. i keep promsing them they will like it more umm once this store gets remodeled or umm we find a different one that is "normal" but i'm waiting for this to happen myself now...

randomness

2008-06-14T09:34:00.000-07:00

must blog... must blog... that's what i keep thinking
yesterday i wished i had my laptop with me as i got coffee and enjoyed the sunshine.. and thought of a million and one things i wanted to write /type about

so many thoughts and emotions this week! so much stored up in my heart ...

it's always a hard week for me when the school year winds down anyways b/c i'm never ready for it to be over, never ready to tell the kids and families goodbye but this week has been especially hard. I had such wonderful and amazing families this year... i still can't believe i took my camera for the last day.. and um forgot the card in my computer... smmoooooth !! as the kids are all standing there saying *take my picture * *cheeeeesee* umm yeah sorry this is um broken... b/c i umm yeah.. it's just not workin sorry guys!".......

can't believe all the girls i had in my class last year are off to 1st grade... i saw some of my past kids on the day of the bbq and it's crazy how grown up they are... time flies... life flies by so fast... i love and miss my job so much....

reading- the shack ---- wow... seriously wow has anyone read it?!
listening to ....SCC
thinking... a zillions thoughts
feeling.... the same and so filled with thanks for all the many blessings
zzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzz oh i'm not really asleep i just keep waking up at such odd hours... cool :) and the birds are singing soooo umm beatifully LOUD right outside my window at OH 4am... and 12 am... and oh right now tooo wouldn't ya know it!! ;) don't they ever sleep or um stop being so cheery... it annoys me but it doesn't show i know :)

so off to get my hair cut who wants to come?! and um tell me how to cut it! i'm tired of it being the same ole way... so i might just chop it off or just trim it or oh who knows!

love ya girls and am SO thankful for each of you and hope you know it! happy saturday!

so much on my mind and heart

2008-06-03T00:19:00.001-07:00

the world seems to be seen through a different persective for me lately... so much heartache all around... things that make me wonder why and question as Kim said so well on her blog today.. you should read it...http://thechlebs.blogspot.com/2008/06/with-heavy-heart.html

this blog post of a friend left me so convicted and having a bad dream last night... only i woke up and it really wasn't a dream it was reality that i couldn't escape or change or run from..i got up at 7am and cleaned the whole house trying to figure out or wrestle with it all...
i use alot of "things" to run or cope or escape or not really feel things sometimes i guess... but this i can't help but be hit right in the heart with... suffering kids makes me hurt....physically emotionally just all over... and cry out to Jesus.. and leaves me convicted...
http://audreysrevolution.blogspot.com/2008/05/were-all-starving.html

words sometimes seem so small and it makes me thankful that lately as i sit here and try to type out my thoughts and am unable to, I'm so thankful that God knows and understands... "grace grace Gods great grace, grace that will pardon and cleanse within..."

"If a picture's worth a thousand words
What are they?And since You're spirit intercedes for me What do you hear when I pray?'
Cause I'm finding it hard to find the words
to let you know how my heart can hurt
so I'll sing the tune
and let you fill in the words

La La LaLa La LaLa La La...
It's comforting to knowMy words aren't all You hear
I can talk to You with laughter
And I can talk to you in tears
And I don't have to know just what to say
For You to hear me when I pray
So I'll sing a part and let you read my heart"

Thank you Jesus that you know and see... and understand even when we don't

2008-06-02T00:25:00.000-07:00

an odd kind of day

2008-06-02T00:10:00.000-07:00

Jesus was so real to me today... church was one of those mornings where you can't run from the truth it just kind of hits you right in the face... or the heart i guess is more like it and as uncomfortable or hard as the valleys in life may be it made me think about and realize that the ways we are tested and the things we walk through God is always with us...
oh i don't think i have the words to explain tonight... but it is a day that i'm thankful for, even when it is uncofortable i'm so glad that God will not leave me where i am right now... that this too shall pass... that He walks with us and doesn't leave us alone

I'm so thankful for people to encourage me and walk with me and who let me just be me and be real... i had a conversation today and just realized how much i want to hide my heart and always be fine even if it feels like i'm falling apart but that hiding everything keeps me from really feeling and experiencing life...

The reality of this past week and the last few months i guess really kind of caught up with me... i was thinking about so much... and of how long iv'e been away from work , the fact that there's only 2 weeks till the end of the school year, and the death of my great grandma this past week... so much makes me want to numb or run somehow and just be "okay" and not feel or deal with things
okay i'm going in circles and not explainng what i'm thinking i guess i need some sleep

i have felt grumpy/agitated today or something after this all... and yet thankful too..

i also got hit today in the target parking lot right after i left church... it was just an interesting day... I"m fine and my car is scratched but honestly i was more upset over hearing the crash sound that reminds me of my accident in ohio.... God is so good even when i'm running, grumpy, and stubborn and anxious
I want my heart to be broken for Him so that I can see and walk in the ways He is guiding me....to find life, joy , peace and hope only in Him not in the things of this world

can't sleeppp

2008-05-28T00:41:00.000-07:00

hey bloggy world
i dunno why i negelct you so when my mind is filled with so many thoughts
im nervous for tomrorow or something and have to be up in um oh 5 hours cool.........
wow well then guess this will be short
so much i want to type and i don't know really where to start.
God is so good and so faithful
me i'm struggling... not with God but with me.. with frustration over my ways and my thinking and or doing
why can't i just let go of me and cling to Him more and trust fully
or maybe i am struggling with God to just release all trust and control to him
its been a trying time i guess more than i want to acknowledge instead i just want to nod and say oh yeah i'm feelin great and better and etc
not like oh i dunno so much is on my heart yet i have no clue sometimes how to begin to share it.
i just want so much so badly to be back at work, to be back to life as normal... however/whatever that maybe right this minute i do not know... things feel so confusing yet in the grand sheme of life this is all so small...
i think of the chapmans and my heart breaks and sees all that i'm going through as so small and trivial... and yet my heart is not sure still how to just break out of this all. wanting to do the right thing, and not wanting to let others down and ugh yeah i just want to be back at work
i miss everything so much
i can't believe the year is gonna be over.... everything keeps going and yeah... god is the same today yesterday and forever... for that i am so thankful i need to trust and be patient... and grow

why do i go months without blogging?

2008-05-21T16:45:00.000-07:00

i lovee blogs and daily check and read others but um hum no excuses i guess why i don't write on my own. I actually miss it! i think i've just had SO much that i want to say that i feel overwhelemd with where to start sometimes and then i just don't... okay so that was my attempt at an excuse i guess oh well! I MISS the blogging world so maybe i can make myway back to it :) and put some of pics on here as well

anyways all that to say here ya go i actually have a reason to be blogging so here it comes... thanks Kim :)

Wicked *5^* ( i like the wicked part;)
5 things under $5.00 that I couldn't live without:
-JELLO
-eyeliner
-Coolwhip
-chicken salad
-orangeaide drink or
Crystal Light Peach Tea (thanks kim never knew i could like tea!)

5 favorite movies:
-The Net
-The Italian Job
-Memoirs of a Geisha
-Born Into Brothels
-Sometime in April

5 favorite baby names I love:
hum
Jayden
Jeynsen (thats what i use to want to *cough* name my twins)
Aidan
Madisen
Mason

5 songs I love:
-God's Green Earth -Point of Grace
-Heal the Wound - Point of Grace
-Here In My Life -Hillsong
-Accpetable -Charmaine
-Hosanna -Hillsong

5 positive influences:
-family
-Kim-bulba miss you forever much
-Friends
-work people-staff, the kids and parents
-music for sure!!

5 life changing moments:
-asking Jesus Into my heart
-April 2nd 1990 when my brother was born! I was so excited
- 1992 when my grandpa died... so sad
- hum um 2003? my car accident
-coming to California to work

5 current obsessions:
-*Crystal Light Peach Tea* yum thanks Kim
-Iced DeCaf Coffee yumm i want one right now!
-my bulba.. miss you
-my phone
-family

5 places I want to go:
Bahamas
Hawaii
Australia
London
the east coast

appliances or kitchen tools I could not live without:
-My Chi for sure!
-Washer
-ice cube maker that i want *L*but dont' have?
-blender
-?

5 people who I would like to see their top 5's:
oh betty suzie bobby , virgina, umm sarah and paul.. oh wait they don't read my blog that i never blog on!!
how about JOYCE if you read this :) and jenny!

Max Lucado makes me think

2008-03-19T10:46:00.000-07:00

so i have had all this time where i keep thinking i should blog i should blog and all these thoughts and things in my head and yet hum why do i fail to take the time to sit down and do this?
typing is so much faster than writing in my journal which i always think oh i should do that and never do it either anymore. I would have thought i'd be doing it more and not less since i've been home all this time... I read faithfully and check everyone else's blogs and always think aww man they haven't blogged for awhile, yet i neglect my own blog over here. so thanks to everyone whos blog i read who has kept me occupied as i've rested lately :) Truly thanks alot it has kept me in some small way connected to the outside world a bit.

but neways i have been thinking alot about something i read and wanted to share it... hum and i realize as i type this i'm such an all or nothing thinker.. or like i want to be able to blog about everything i'm thinking and not just one little piece where it probably would just be more effective for me to just kind of not be so um focused or something on the details and just share or write what comes and not worry about oh wow okay stop this tangent now!

3:16- max lucado
Born Again... those words echo in my head after reading this chapter ...
and i realize that i don't understand the full implications of what those words mean to us today just as they did when Nicodemus asked Jesus what does it mean....

Max sets the mood and paints a picture like only he can. He talked about birth and how we have nothing to do with coming out of the womb. how no one tells the baby oh great job on your labor but rather the mom is the one who exerts all the effort...

and how the greek word offers 2 choices for the word
again...
1. Palin, which means a repetition of an act; or redo what was done earlier.
2.Anothen, which also depicts a repeated action, but requires the orginal source to reapt it. it means "from above , from a higher place, things which come from heaven or God"
in other words the one who did the work the first time does it again. this is the word that Jesus Chose"
"the difference between the 2 terms is the difference between a painting by da Vinci and one by me"... Born: God exerts the effort. Again God restores the beauty" Wow....

today he talked about how truly there is none like Him...how huge He is, the galaxy , the stars... the vast grains of sand.. he is HUGE and i can't even begin to get my little mind around it...

did you know that if you wanted to drive to sun say going 150mph you would drive nonstop 24/7, 365 days a year =70 years it would take you to reach the sun!?? (pg17) and that is consider "close" to us... i mean compared to other distant glaxies... blows me away!

i'll just leave you with this b/c it has been going around in my mind these last few hours and made me want to write...
"To whom, then , will you compare God?" the prophet invites. To whom indeed? "Human hands can't serve his needs-for he has no needs" (Acts 17:25) You and I start our days needy. Indeed, basic needs prompt us to climb out of bed. Not God. Uncreated and self -sustaining, he depends on nothing and no one. Never taken a nap or a breath. Needs no food, counsel or physician.
"The Father has life in himself" (John 5:26) Life is to God what wetness is to water and air is to wind. He is not just alive but life itself. God is without help"

i miss work so much . cant wait to be back

2008-02-20T17:12:00.000-08:00

thoughts swaying back and forth

2008-02-19T14:08:00.000-08:00

my random and scattered thoughts on mono, being off work, and wanting to be back in the "real" world again....parts of it are conversation i had with someone . i copied and pasted as i realized i needed to blog b/c i had alot on my mind apprently.

sometimes i feel like trapped in this all or something
like i know it takes day by day but i just want to like break out of it and can't ....

does tha t make any sense? or like i have so much to say or so many thoughts but my energy doesn't keep up with it to match it at all.

i'll have little things in my mind that i can try to "accomplish" but then it's like just such an effort that i don't do them
everyone has been so patient and nice to me but i'm sure people are frustrated as i am with myself ya know? i mean like why is it taking her so long to be better.

as frustrated as i get with myself at times in this all, i just feel God speaking so much to my heart through the circumstances of this all and the way His love has so amazingly been poured out upon me through others. tangibly people have been his hands and feet in ways i would not have imagined.
and i just feel so undeserving
it's like hum hard to describe but i know i'm right where im suppose to be, doing what i should , even when my head says you need to do this or that and hurry up.

Somehow i want to glorify him in this all. it's definately shown me how important health and energy are, i've never experienced something so physically draining yet somehow it's made me want to fight even harder to be back at my best
i've realized to God that it's truly all about my heart and finding Him to be enough and day by day and living for that.
i ve been laying here thinking alot i'm sure you can't tell

I want Jesus to be enough. to really know He is my all in all and trust in that.. it's so much easier said than done and when times of testing come and we're put through the fire , and every little detail doesn't go our way... it's harder to say okay God i know what you are doing is for my very best... but honestly i do know that... that right now even when i feel not my best that He is working in it all. That my worrying isn't going to make any of it better... He's been so good to me, now i just need to listen and do the growing He wants me to out of this all.

.

more ....

2008-02-06T18:42:00.002-08:00

your favorite gum?
Hum that would depend on the moment, usually extra peppermint, or super mint, I go through phases. I also like trident spearmint, and Five, and then when I like something fruity I like the pink stride one, and also the pearberry by Extra but it’s hard to find. Orbitz makes a really good one too but I can’t think of the name it’s a light pink box with light green J can you tell I LOVE gum? Even though I’m not really suppose to chew it that much, I do. All the time pretty much yep. I’m addicted

Something about your personality that bugs you
That I am so OCD sometimes it drives me and others around me I’m sure at times crazy. I can’t stand for things to be too messy for very long it’s like torture to me, it’s not even so much the mess but that it’s all unorganized and yeah I just don’t do well with it for some reason. I’ve always been like this even as a kid I always cleaned me and my sisters room and had to have things just so or I would feel off. I am getting better at times where I can just let things go but then it’s more like it builds all up and up and then finally I just have to do something about it and clean or tidy up at least

Also that I’m not a risk taker at all. I’ve been realizing this more lately that all through life I’ve always stuck to what I know is “right” or safe or not stepped out to be more bold sometimes. I wish I was more like that and could do things at the drop of a hat that were “scary” to me.

And that I can be so shy and hold things inside when I really do have a lot to say but I’m just not sure how to say it? I just am tired of letting “things’ hold me back I guess. Life is too short.

Something you are learning at the moment---
That patience feels like it really isn’t something I posses a lot of. I’m struggling right now to truly trust Gods plan and ways over my own. Because selfishly and honestly I’m fine to say oh sure I’m happy and content in you Lord when things are going my way, or how I think they should. I am not doing well with not having life feel “normal” I am definitely at a stage of okay God I know you are taking me somewhere and I know I want to follow You, but right now I really want to hear your voice. I need to let go of my need or desire for control. Having mono has shown me how important health is and just how I take working everyday for granted. I miss work and the kids so much and just a normal daily life. I feel like I’m not fully living life to the fullest right now.

A dream you have is:
To be a Godly wife and mom… to find mr right.. And wait for God’s timing and trusting Him to open or close those doors… I want to have kids a lot and I want to adopt some too if those are Gods plans for me…. Both either of those things… I’ve wanted to adopt kids since I was a little kid I would tell people someday I was going to do that… I think it’s just something God put on my heart so hopefully someday I can do that -we will see.

Something you have passion for…
I have passion for my job, for the kids and families that I get to work with everyday. Through them God has shown/taught me so much it amazes me that He has let me have this job… it’s a responsibility I don’t ever want to take for granted. I LOVE the kids more than I can say and love to watch them learning and growing. It’s amazing to see them learn to write and just all the other academic things but what my heart is most thankful for is getting to teach them about Jesus. To dive deep into the bible with them and just totally be creative in and through teaching them all about God’s love and word and letting it hopefully surround them in the classroom. Not just in “bible story time” or memorizing a bible verse but I really want them to see it lived out in the classroom and demonstrated before them.

That is my passion and prayer that if they take anything away it’s that I love them but even more so that God loves them and is always there for them. I still remember my preschool years so I pray someday they remember some of these truths and things we’ve talked about when they need it the most. I look at them and see the future and pray everyday for them to give there hearts to the Lord and grow up knowing Him. Who knows what they will grow up to be and who they will influence later in life.

You love to taste…
peaches, ice cream, brownies, jello, cool whip, strawberries, coffee drinks, cinnamon, pf changs, stir-fry, steamed veggies, chicken, omelets and American cheese slices, salads
Smell….
Vanilla bean, brown sugar and fig, heavenly, midnight pomegranate, philosophy shower gel, Carmel coffee drink, fresh ground coffee beans, cookies or brownies baking, the ocean, a cool crisp morning, fall in the air, anything my mom or grandma is baking and that warm smell that comes throughout the house that makes me think of holidays, cinnamon rolls
Touch….
Warm soft blankets especially right from the dryer, oh I love clothes all warm and toasty from the dryer. I have a picture of that I should insert here…hum what else touch is harder, giving and receiving hugs
Warm soft slippers on my feet, (warm is the theme as I’m sitting here eating a smoothie shivering ;)
Hear ….
Music, water, peoples voices that I know and love, laughter, the kids at school, the ocean, peace and quiet, the wind in the tree leaves, praying , God’s word being taught, truth and loving words…joy, babies
See…
My friends and family, the ocean, the mountains, snow, Gods word alive and active touching my heart and changing me, kids learning and growing, smiles,

Kim I tag YOU

long time no blog- tagged

2008-02-04T17:28:00.001-08:00

sorry mono has defiantely gotten the best of me lately and you'd think with all this time home i'd have more time to blog and i do but i just get too tired and put it off i guess. i eat, sleep, watch a lil tv, eat or drink some more with something nice and cold or hot, and sleep some more... you get the idea. i hope you all are well!!

so being that kim tagged me i thought i needed to do this :) so here goes

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE ?
No but my name was going to be spelled with a y, till my uncle suggested that ending it with “I would be better and wouldn’t be confused with the boy name of Jody? I like the I

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?Hum really cried hard quite awhile but cried a lil just yesterday

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?Not really , I think it should be neater especially since I’m teaching 4 year olds to write letters, I’ve had to perfect it a bit at work or they will correct ME J *L*

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?chicken or turkey

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?no
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?Um sure I hope so
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?Oh no never at all j/k

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?Yes and they are rather swollen and gross right now so maybe I’d rather not but I’d be scared to get them out now.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?Lol no I don’t think so- I wish I was more of a risk taker but I’m not at all.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?Honey Nut Cheerios mixed with regular Cheerios, and Reese Puffs!
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?yeah I do.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?No not really I’m pretty weak

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?(Yumm kim yours both sound good I wanna try them ) cake batter and vanilla bean oh and cookie dough.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?There eyes, and what kind of mood they are in

15. RED OR PINK?Pink for sure!

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF?That my immune system is so messed up right now

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?That is a tough one bc I miss a lot of people-my family in ohio and my sister in Florida and Kim. and also my grandpa
18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?Gray sweatpants and no shoes
19. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?A bowl of soup broth, some jello with cool whip and a popsicle
20. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?the tv Laui is getting married on the real housewives of OC
21. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?Green-not a light green at all though, a dark bright green like grass, green green J or maybe blue hum that’s hard. Or pink J 22. FAVORITE SMELLS?Cookies or brownies baking, midnight pomegranate and brown sugar and fig (b&bw) Heavenly, and the smell on a cool crisp morning of a new day

23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?Rebekah
24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?Football and basketball
25. HAIR COLOR?Um blondish brown
26. EYE COLOR?blue
27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?no
28. FAVORITE FOOD?Let’s see well right now, eggs, especially an omelet with tomatoes , spinach ,mushrooms and zucchini, and cheese., jello, popsicles, smoothies, mushrooms with ranch, jello, ice, did you get that I like jello? Especially with cool whip or redi whip or both. Stir fry sounds good right now yum or PF Changs. I love this generic peach flavored water I found the other day
.29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?happy endings
30. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?The Holiday
31. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?Green with pink lettering on it and a grey shirt under it with my fleece black hoodie over it. It’s chilllyy
32. SUMMER OR WINTER?Summer because it’s nice and warm but I love the look of snow, so it’s perfect I can see it right now on the mountains but not be in it and freezing
33. HUGS OR KISSES?hugs
34. FAVORITE DESSERT?Yumm brownies, BJ’s pzookie cookie, Fudgepops, Funfetti cake and rainbow chip frosting oh and ice cream of course.
35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?Breaking Free by Beth Moore, and a book in the Redemption series by Karen Kingsbury but right now I just forgot which it is and don’t want to get up and look Found maybe?.
36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?Nothing I’m on my laptop
37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?Extreme Makeover Home Edition and Cold Case
38. FAVORITE SOUNDS?The voices of people I love, The ocean, family all together laughing and talking, the kids at school laughing and playing or making a new discovery, basically the sounds of life being loved and lived well, with joy and happiness, and music wow how could I leave that out!
39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?Well I had to chose one of those the Beatles I guess.
40. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?Wow I think where I currently live is the furthest I’ve ever been from ohio…
41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?Hum not really … I can do the splits
42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?Lima Ohio

sooo

2008-01-16T14:08:00.001-08:00

so what to say,, wow well so much has gone on since i've really sat down to honestly blog and be like yeah this is what's going on with me that its gotten easier to just not talk about it maybe? or maybe i just get tired of it and the last thing i feel like doing is blog

ging about it. I've kind of been in denial i guess until lately that all my stomache problems have taken a toll on me and that i really do need more aggressive treatment to get the help that i need so that i can get back to life. I've become a hermit with this all in ways. anyways so i've been seeing my dr reguarly as in weekly lately and now last night meet with a specialist/dietician. she has alottt of experience with these types of things and for that i'm so thankful. she actually had someone with a similar sitation as mine who had to have exploratory surgery? oh no thank you.. please Jesus....no no that scares me to even consider, but alot of things lately have scared me to consider. Anyways all that to say your prayers mean so much and i don't say any of this to worry anybody, in fact that's part of why i dont' like to talk about it too b/c i don't want people to be worried... but i just need a place to vent. It's just getting to me alot and kind of i guess getting me down b/c i'm not feeling like my normal self, and everyone tells me how sick i look even if i try to act like i feel good, and I HATE missing work. I really do so much and yet i can't give my 100% all and be there and feel good. My stomache has good days and bad days as in days where i can't function very well without being really near the bathrom and then days where i feel good and am like OH praise Jesus thank you for this healthy day! so yeah just pray for my mind to run and cling to Him and not some of the voices in my head that get me feeling down i guess and that kind of defeats things even more . I know there is victory in this all, somedays it's just easier for me to see and claim than others. i know i have something big to learn in this though i must otherwise well yeah :)

I need to end this for now i love you all and pray you each are well and healthy!oh and the pics are from new years eve, it had been quite awhile since i had watched them and they had a blast playing with my camera of course um at bed time :) opps.

2008-01-16T13:18:00.001-08:00

kim and jennny-hey girls thanks for the sweet comments, i didn't have it turned on to show me them so i just thought no one had seen this -yep i'm a lil sloww!

I miss you both so much gosh truly it's been so long since we've all gotten together huh?

I can't believe sometimes that you both have sweet lil girls! I wanna seee them!!

okay movin on :) i got on here to post a few more pics...okay or um just one for now b/c i need to restart b/c suddenly i have no pictures in my computer.... umm yeah okay hope i didn't delete something opps

i'll come back to post a real post soon thanks for readin and yeah just much more to say i need to really update

2008-01-05T16:57:00.000-08:00

a start over

2008-01-05T16:24:00.001-08:00

well i think it's time for a new blog, not because i don't like my other one, i do but it's just time, something new . I don't know what this year holds but i pray my heart and life will be changed.
This past year i've struggled with some health issues, and these last few weeks have been a challenge for me in thinking, reflecting and pondering the future and what is best. It's at times like this truly that God is so big and for that I am thankful because sometimes i feel so small.

i've missed blogging alot, actually i've missed all of you even though i've kept up with your blogs i'm sorry that i've kind of pulled away from this i have been not sure where to begin hence here we start with a new blog and a new start. because thankfully it's a new day.

Today i had to start my day over, yes start it over.. before it had really even begun. I woke up and couldn't sleep and as i tossed and turned in bed i realized i should just get up, so even though it was very early i climed out of bed, and decided i was really hungry and i'd just make a frozen waffle... yum it sounded so good.. as i went out to the garage to the freezer... i realized something was wrong as the door was opened.. and right away i thought uh oh... yep all the ice cream that we just got last night was like milk, popcylces dripping.. frozen stawberries like mush,...it was a mess... so me in my pj's and robe dug in to start cleaning it up. ironically sheri had just said last night that we should defrost the freezer today so i figured well there's no time like the present to start cleaning this out and moved things inside to the freezer in the house that were still okay. as i was doing all of this thinking great i'm the one that left that opened, kicking myself as i was trying to be helpful and well yeah i wasn't being.. i was making a huge mess...
got it cleaned up, and put a waffle in.. only i didn't see it set on dark and burnt them both...put the next one in, and they were all defrosted of course but um for some reason this time i burnt it and the center was still cold... yumm :P so by then i was frustrated and wishing i was still warm in bed... so i was standing there thinking of other things to eat or something else that might go wrong next talking away to God in my head i'm sure thinking some not very nice things, when i realized i just needed to start my day over... or God gently rather reminded me of this need... to just put it all away and start over.. that inspite of the mess i could complain all day or i could move on and do something good... that the mess was cleaned up and my day wasn't over...

speaking of messes you must also know that last night i sprayed raspberry sparkling water all over the kitchen.I had just finished getting dinner and wanted something to drink and so i reached in the fridge and grabbed my water from target.... of course only moments prior to this i had changed into my new jeans that i had just gotten with no real point of wearing them other than i just wanted to. so there i stan in the kitchen frantically trying to put the cap back on that water which i opened and it erupted like a geyser soaking me and everything else in it's path. Thankfully sheri saw the look of sheer terror on my face and jumped in to help me.

The point, God reminded me somehow this morning as much as i needed a new start to my day, that I'm just like that freezer... that i make messes that i don't intend to make, that my heart desperately like that freezer needs to be thawed out, and although something may seem a mess at the time,like leaving the door opened, it can work for something good, to clean out and to reorganize... that sometimes things do get messy and sticky and wet and just gross before they are organzied.
"beyond our undestand your hand is moving and we stand amazed...."
so here's to a new day and a new start with my blog
much more to say but i'll end this for the moment.