ToTaL BlOg FaIlUrE

I have really missed blogging!
I have no clue why I just randomly stopped! I guess I got to busy, or I felt like I couldn't really share things on here as in with pictures but realized today how much I truly MISS it!
I still read blogs of course but just have failed to well jump back in!
Oh well i guess I shouldn't feel like it has to be this way or that, it's my blog I should just blog about whatever :)

So here this will be my jump back in

Today I said out loud- I don't even know our neighbors, - I mean sure I wave hi but not much more than that, I don't really like that. I grew up in a neighborhood where everyone knew everyone. You could really go ask someone for eggs or sugar or flour, and I spent my summer nights as a kid safe playing and cutting through neighbors backyard to run home safe and happy.

I live alot closer in proximity to the people who I call neighbors now, with houses alot closer together in CA. Yet what is it here that makes people more distant, or is it just for safety and security?
I feel torn in this. I want to go out of my way to show Christ's love, and to be different even if it's just a smile or to lend a helping hand, yet I also want to be safe. This week we had some pretty odd things going on here in our neighborhood. Just turn on the news... and it makes you wonder who are your neighbors.., yet on the flip side oddly it makes me sad that I feel such a distance to people I live so close to.
Maybe life won't go back to being so simple ever but It just has me thinking :)

blog blog blog.. Oh how i do love thee ... really i do! I just have issues with the fact that i feel like alot of what i think or what i want to blog i shouldn't make for everyone to read or rather i wish i could post pics of just everyday stuff and oh i dunno i go back and forth like the 2 people that read this then would have to log in if i made this private but then i could post all the pics i wanted etc.. la la what do my 2 readers think? *cough*

Moments.. words, thoughts i can blog...

"miss Jodi let's spell some words.. and you can help me, you know put the letters together to make a word.." That is what a word is right?"
"yes that sure is.. what would you like to spell?"
"OH OH - I know we should spell something with the letter O since it's our letter this week...
I know I know.. I know a word... it's DOG!!! *woof wooof wooooof* and i can spell that with the O for you! It's G-O-D!!! G-O-D!! *woof* "
"umm well that's not quite it.. but it's really close.. but that is GOD.. think about what sound does DOG start with?"
"yeah I known it's G-O-D-- DOG DOG DOG!!"
wow...

sunday

must clean, must blog, must find lost package, must humm
oh yeah heyy :)

so who wants to come help me clean?! oh my so does anyone else ever um have a bad habit of holding on to clothes that they probably won't wear like say from a few years ago but ya know that you liked then and oh you might want it this coming spring cause gee well ya never know.......... umm yeah why do i do that ALL the time!? it's not like i have the room for it?
My OCD-ness is buggin me big time right now ugh so sometimes um i'd just rather do nothing at all and sit here and blog instead great... so productive...

but part of it is i know i need reallllyy need to clean and get ready to move so that it's so overwhelming when i do move to a different condo/apartment-whatever- that's something big if you could/can be praying God just directs all of that please. that would be a huge answer to prayer. I hate change and transition but I know God has it all under control.

Yuck this is a boring and wieird blog.. oh well
I"m getting over the flu-- fun times.... i hate how the flu always or well maybe this doesn't happen to anyone else but does it ever make you not want to eat certain or drink things that you had like right before you got sick because you think or associate it somehow i guess with um getting sick? or i dunno? like ever since i was really little i can't drink red hawaiian punch.
okay like anyone wants to know all of this randomness.
i'll go clean more now.. maybe... we'll see.......... humm

miss you alllll
joyce and jennnnyy heyy --i still check your blog lots and miss you blogging :) i know i'm a fine one to talk but for real i love when you blog! and Kim of course it goes without saying :D i miss you and love your pics and when you blog-it makes my day!
love you guys-your the best

i never blog

i think of about a zillion things honestly okay not a zillion but a few things each day that i could/ wish that i had should of blogged and then never do...

so this is my blog so i guess i don't need to worry about playing catch up or feeling bad that i just pretty much let it go. I really have no excuses. I wish i could blog post more of my daily life with the sweet kids at school but as i can not do that and post pics etc. ..
But i can and will leave you with some of the amazing things they teach me.. their lil minds amaze me...truly..

a few random moments

talking about King Herod... how much evil he had in his heart.. one of them said.. "you know his heart must be so so tiny small like this ... motions for a very tiny tiny heart... you know we really should pray for him to get a bigger heart.. for God to fill it up with Love...."
They totally got it.. and how we don't want our own hearts to be filled with evil but rather with Gods love so that we ourselves don't let evil fill us...

"don't tell , don't tell" *looks up and around* "aww man too late she's right there" 'shoot" i didn't want her to know that i almost thought i was gonna have to get in trouble for that one whew.. "i said she's right there look behind you"

Making fresh squeezed lemonade.. and squeezing the lemons to get the juice out.. as the juice is squirting everywhere and making a bit of a mess.. "wow this is the most amazing process ever... that's so cool that God would make lemons just for us to do this to..." lol
you should have seen the look on their faces testing it before we added the sugar wheww priceless that was for sure! and yes i did warn them and YES i did test it myself too! it was Tart for sure!

"whatever your doing..."

this song has been on my mind and my heart ... its so true

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

(Chorus)Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't seebut I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow
Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...To...
(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many yearsTime to release all my held back tears
Whatever You're doing inside of meIt feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This *is* something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly
It's time to face upClean this old houseTime *to* breathe in and let everything out

thinking..

death and dying= jodi realizes she doesn't know how to deal with it... seriously running is my mode of operation or trying to somehow not let it touch my heart, be strong.. and not let the reality sit with me too long... literally when i was in high school i just ran out the door and RAN when i heard about my grandma who my dad had just talked to..
i've lost a grandpa at age 12, my grandma when i was a senior in high school, and my other grandpa just a few years ago.. and others that i loved but it's like i just really don't know how to cope with it...
So now as i see this family that i love facing death i one more time think Jesus let me not run, let my heart not be built up with a wall but instead LIVE life in the moment and savoir the time..

I miss my grandpa so much.. so much sometimes that i have dreams and think i can just go back to his house and see him... and yet i'm filled with thanks for all that he did to show me how to live life and love Jesus, and never lose the joy of living even when life gets tough...
so why do i feel stuck at the moment.... i just do... and I don't know why.

it's not like i'm dying, yet i feel so confused, and not sure what where life is going, and what Jesus wants of and for me, and how to just do daily life, and not get stuck by little things like being sick or i dunno Oh Jesus I don't want to miss the big picture... i don't want to be so small minded...
Help me God to be yours..... and live that way...

oh finally

wow finally i figured out how to change this ugly blog. ugh hope none of you were checking it seeing that lovely green and orange combo i had going on whew that was hurtin my eyes and um sure making me NOT want to blog. isn't that sad... well i wanted to blog but hated the look of my blog so i faithfully check everyone elses that i love to read and see updated and leave my own to umm grow in it's uglyness? suree..

okay well there's been much to think/blog about and yet it seems at those times is when i go silent the most... makes perfect sense..

so neways on to much more important matters...

can you please pray for a very good friend of mine and her family... i think i will just put a little snippet of an update in here b/c i know you all will pray. my heart is heavy/sad for them and wanting to help and do anything i can..yet feeling kind of helpless... they have truly been my family out here in CA and are such amazing people who love Jesus..

"Mom went yesterday to have more fluid drained from her abdomen - not as much as last time but it should help her discomfort for a bit. The DR. who did the procedure has been a big help to mom and seemed a bit concerned that the Oncologist is not doing more for Mom. That confirmed for Christina and I that it was okay to get a second opinion.

Christina will be talking with City of Hope today - We both know that its not so much for a "cure" but we just feel mom deserves to be taken care of better then what the current Dr. is doing. Pray for Christina's wisdom to know how far to pursue this. Also that we would be able to set up in home care or at least have people stop by and check on Mom while Christina is gone. It is coming up to a very busy time of year for Christina and I know that weighs on her a lot. One thing I am not seeing - I am not seeing Mom's church family step up to help with some of the visiting. Pray for pletharu of people :)

Also - if you would pray for Christina's peace of mind. She has some of Mom's friends telling her that asking for a second opinion is a "foolish" thing to do. They have told Christina that she is not being fair to Mom by not just calling hospice. IT has been very upsetting for Christina and makes her feel she is not doing a good job. Pray that God would just put His hedge around Christina and only allow her to hear His voice.

Christina and I have discussed the Hospice idea quite a bit - and although I am in favor of doing that Mom is not ready for that yet & Christina has reservations about it. Anyway - just a short update - Christina is feeling very weighed down and discouraged by these "ladies" who have known christina since she was very young - they should know that Christina is only doing what she feels is best for Mom. And that Mom is willing to do the second opinion. Christina wouldn't have pursued it without Mom's permision.

Anway - thanks again to all of you - your prayers and support are so evident. God's richest blessings on all of you

In Him

Sheri